Posted by
www.BoycottBigMedia.com on Thursday, April 16, 2009 1:38:35 PM
The Department of Homeland Security (DHS), who we understand is supposed to be staying on top of terrorist threats to our country and its citizens, has recently issued a new "classified" report on "right-wing extremists" and the dangers of such. DHS includes in its description of possible right-wing extremists "one issue groups" such as those opposed to illegal immigration or abortion. Even worse, DHS has also designated our returning veterans from the war on terror as possibly being "suspect" as well.
Oh, so if you are against the unfettered ending of life of the unborn, you are a "right-wing extremist"? If you left your family and bravely served the cause of freedom in a faraway land, protecting people you don’t even know, you are now put on the "we’re not so sure about you" list at Homeland Security? This report makes us wonder whether Big Brother DHS is still focusing on those who attacked us on 9/11, and all those now freely crossing our borders, including members or sympathizers of Hezbollah.
Uh, memo to DHS, Hezbelloh is a "terrorist" organization, or what you might term "developers of man-made disasters," if, in fact, you do believe it is such. Since we aren’t supposed to use the "T" word anymore, maybe we can just use an unpronounceable symbol, such as ;.I<Y, and refer to it as "Those-Formerly-Known-As-Terrorists."
Just by uttering the above, we may have put ourselves on DHS’ "watch list,"since we are expressing our right of free speech to speak out against governmental absurdity. Yeah, put all those "conservatives" on your "danger list," while terrorists and drug dealers have free reign coming over our borders. Sounds like you’ve got your priorities in order. Readers, see also Judge Andrew Napolitano’s recent column on foxnews.com, "Six Things You Should Know About the Homeland Security Report on ‘Right-Wing Extremism’" and Bill O’Reilly’s recent "talking points memo" entitled "President Obama, Spain and the Radical Left" and Michelle Malkin’s column of April 15, "You Might Be a ‘Radicalized Right-Wing Extremist’ If..." (We changed the original title of this column after seeing hers, though the substance of this column, including the original title, was written before we saw hers).
Don’t get us wrong. If there really are extremist militia groups ready to bomb the Capitol, Congress, or Main Street USA for that matter, those groups should be stopped, and prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. However, to mix those groups with our veterans and "single issue" groups such as those opposed to runaway government spending, illegal immigration or abortion is patently absurd.
Do you think those organizing and/or attending the "Tea Party" protests around the country might also be put on Big Brother’s "watch list"? Don’t bet against it. We doubt that the timing of the release of this "report" just before the countrywide Tea Parties was merely coincidental. The report’s focus reminds us of our earlier satirical "prediction" that William Ayers would be named the new director of Homeland Security, which doesn’t seem to be as much of an exaggeration as we figured.
We may not have many occasions to agree with Rep. Bennie Thompson (D-Miss.), but we give him credit and kudos for questioning the release of such a report. It appears that Rep. Thompson, Chair of the House Committee on Homeland Security, recognizes the impropriety of our federal government trying to chill free speech and grouping reliable citizens into "suspect" designations on the basis of mere politics.
Therefore, in response to the absurd characterization by DHS of many of us "conservatives" as being dangerous "right-wing extremists," here’s a description of what they and you might want to watch out for–if you fit the description, then heads up, you may rank higher on the DHS "danger list" than ;.I<Y [Those-Formerly-Known-As-Terrorists] might now. This follows our column posted just before Election Day 2008, "....You Might Be a Leftist."
Again, with apologies to Jeff Foxworthy:
If you have put your life on the line for our country and the cause of freedom by serving in Iraq or Afghanistan, and have not denounced your service or that cause...
...You might be a "right-wing extremist"...
If you are a member of the VFW or regularly associate with those who are...
...You might be a "right-wing extremist"...
If you think loads and loads of increased government spending is the wrong way to address our economic problems...
...You might be a "right-wing extremist"...
If you think geometrically expanding the national debt, so that our grandchildren will still be struggling to pay it off, is a really bad idea...
...
You might be a "right-wing extremist"...
If you think spending billions and billions in pork-barrel projects, in the name of economic "stimulus," is irresponsible...
...
You might be a "right-wing extremist"...
If you attended a "Tea Party" in your city or town and think we are "taxed enough already"...
...
You
are a "right-wing extremist"...
If you think numerous "bailouts" by the federal government are the wrong approach to our problems...
...
You might be a "right-wing extremist"...
If you believe in free speech, even when uttered by conservatives and non-leftists...
...
You might be a "right-wing extremist"...
If you oppose the [un]Fairness Doctrine, and think the feds have no business dictating the programming content of privately owned radio stations...
...You might be a "right-wing extremist"...
If you believe in securing our borders, so that drug dealers aren’t as able to freely dump their poisons into our cities and towns (and into our children)...
...
You might be a "right-wing extremist"...
If you believe in securing our borders, so that
;.I<Y [Those-Formerly-Known-As-Terrorists] cannot freely transport people, bombs and who knows what else into our country, to kill Americans and others living here...
...
You might be a "right-wing extremist"...
If you have a hard time accepting the Left’s claim that "no one is an illegal immigrant," particularly when that would have to include
;.I<Y [Those-Formerly-Known-As-Terrorists]...
...
You might be a "right-wing extremist"...
If you are one of those types that believes "if you outlaw guns, only outlaws will have guns"...
...You might be a "right-wing extremist"...
If you are one of the millions who are turning off "Big Media" liberal networks, and canceling subscriptions to leftist newspapers and liberal magazines...
...
You might be a "right-wing extremist"...
If you would rather your children watch or listen to shows like Glenn Beck, Bill O’Reilly, Sean Hannity and Rush Limbaugh, than sing "songs of praise" to the President...
...
You might be a "right-wing extremist"...
If you think William Ayers [insert unpronounceable symbol here] is a more fitting subject to put on Homeland Security’s "watch list" than Glenn, Bill, Sean, Rush or yourself...
...
You might be a "right-wing extremist"...
If you keep your children away from television shows that champion attacks on traditional values, promote obscenity, and generally have no redeeming purpose whatsoever...
...You might be a "right-wing extremist"...and, you are "intolerant"!
If you voted for Obama/Biden, and now wonder what in the world you could have been thinking...
...You might not be a "right-wing extremist"...but, you are being watched, and they know where you live!
If you believe in protecting the rights of the unborn, and peacefully but firmly oppose things like abortion on demand and partial-birth abortion...
...You might be a "right-wing extremist"...
If you believe in keeping "under God" in the Pledge of Allegiance and "In God We Trust" on our currency...
...You might be a "right-wing extremist"...
If you are tolerant of others’ beliefs, but believe that our nation was founded on Judeo-Christian values by people who were not strangers to religious faith...
...You might be a "right-wing extremist"...
If you have a hard time believing that "global warming" is everything the Left, including the "limousine liberal" crowd, says it is...
...You might be a "right-wing extremist"...
If you believe in reducing taxes and government spending, promoting our free enterprise system, and smaller government in general...
...You might be a "right-wing extremist"...
Yes
, if the above description fits you, then you are one of those "dangerous" types that the federal government needs to keep an eye on–forget Bin Laden and other
;.I<Y, we’ve got Rush & Company to worry about. Why wring our hands over where the next terrorist attacks may occur–and try to prevent them–when the "Politics Police" can spend its time rounding up the "usual suspects" involved in things like right to life causes, the VFW [what a suspect bunch are they] and those "Tea Parties" that are such an affront to the omnipotent reach of the far-Left.
We know the above is not an exhaustive list. Many of us will think of items to add to the "right-wing extremist" list. This DHS report makes the so-called "conspiracy" theorists’ belief that "Big Brother is watching you" sound quite plausible, rather than the rantings of someone who is out to lunch.
Stay focused.
Remain involved. Don’t tune all this out–our future and that of our children and grandchildren depend on it. Please visit www.bailoutbluesband.com to hear samples of two "parody" songs that also spoof the bailouts and the runaway spending, and you can download those songs from cdbaby.com, itunes or amazon.